When Faith is Difficult

WHEN FAITH IS DIFFICULT

By John Santosuosso

 

"I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden."

                         Song by Lynne Anderson

 

"Grace is free, but it is never cheap."

                       John Santosuosso

 

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

                      Mark 15:34

 

      In the twenty-fifth chapter of Matthew, Jesus very clearly indicates he prefers action over beliefs. However we should not be too quick to abandon St. Paul and his emphasis on faith. Often what we believe determines how we act. Faith and act can walk hand in hand. When things are going well, faith may not be too difficult. God may seem very close and ready to provide plenty of "showers of blessing." But there is a problem.

 

      Things, even for the most fortunate, are not always going well. For the less fortunate it might seem that everything including the "kitchen sink" is coming their way. Now faith can become much more difficult to find. After all, believing in something that you cannot see, hear, or touch is a serious challenge. To call out to God when you are in need and sense no response can be faith-shattering indeed. Possibly years later we may discover that we did receive a reply. However, the night might seem very dark and long before that discovery.

 

      I wonder if many recent high school graduates coming out of our churches have an initial serious crisis of faith when they for the first time leave home and go off to the university campus. I recall in high school Youth Fellowship singing songs like "Everyday with Jesus is Sweeter Than the Day Before," and "Are We Downhearted, No, No, No." Even at that young age I knew those songs were useless for helping us prepare for the road ahead. The real world obviously is filled with some days that are neither sweet nor free of depression.

 

      Episcopal priest and author Barbara Brown Taylor taught comparative religions at Piedmont College in rural Georgia in the heart of the Bible belt. She writes that during her twenty years there the school never had difficulty in obtaining the maximum possible enrollment for Religion 101. She said students flocked to the class because they were hungry to ask the questions they were afraid to ask at church or home. Some had even been encouraged by their family to not enroll for fear they would lose their faith. Sadly, we forget that often honest doubt is the mother of belief. There is a tremendous task awaiting us to teach our young how to learn from the Bible (and other sources) rather than trying to "defend" the Bible. Until we understand how to do that some of our young are going to be joining the Church Alumni Association rather than the local congregation.

 

      Of course the "crisis of faith" takes many other forms as well. A few years ago I was fortunate to be able to visit with one of my closest childhood friends. We discussed numerous things, especially trains. We had chased after them many years ago, and he went on to be a professional expert on transportation needs. His life had been a good one, with probably far fewer potholes than many people encounter. That all came crashing down when his wife got a cancer diagnosis. He prayed, he hoped, he looked for "Mr. Fix-It God" to come to their rescue. However, "Mr. Fix-It God" never arrived, and he found himself a widower. It brought on a crisis of faith. Although I do not know exactly how, he was eventually able to overcome this, but it did change dramatically his understanding of God, and how God acts in this world.

 

      There is no quick easy solution to the "faith crisis," but there are probably some things we can do that will help us deal with it. First of all, like many other things of value, a sustaining faith takes time to build, time for it to put down roots that will not be easily upended when a storm arrives. It has been said there are no atheists in foxholes. I doubt that is true, but even if it were, I think "foxhole conversions" are of little value. They have no roots. Are we seeking to build faith now so that it can provide a firm foundation for storms that may come later?

 

      A good place to start in dealing with this problem is to admit we do go through times when we find faith difficult to sustain. It is a universal experience. Walking in faith is a walk in ambiguity. Sometimes it is easy. Sometimes it is very difficult. Even Jesus had times when he felt abandoned and alone. A temporary lack of faith need never be replaced by a load of guilt.

 

      Dr. Joan Borysenko has written that no matter how dark the moment never give up in walking toward the light, no matter how dim it may be. There is a tremendous ability for the mind to heal and to restore our faith as it does. As Barbara Brown Taylor puts it, we need to learn to walk in the dark.

 

     Just how we do that may not be easy and will vary from person to person, but it can be done. Viktor Frankl in his classic "Man's Search for Meaning" relates his time spent in a World War II Nazi concentration camp. He discovered the difference between those who managed to survive the horrors of the place with those that did not. The survivors had one thing in common. They found something that gave them a sense of purpose. So it is with faith. If we have purpose we will find faith. 

     

 

ST PETER'S EPISCOPAL CHURCH BLOG

By Derek Larson • October 31, 2026
This week I'm thinking about closing on the new church property at 1205 West Baker Street. We had to delay the closing just a few days, but I am excited to share that that should happen this week and that we have reached our goal of $75,000 for a down payment! Thank you so much for your incredible generosity. There will be an open house of the new building on November 15, 2026 at the Parish Fall Festival. We have already started cleaning up the grounds around the building and will be doing a little more work on the inside and outside as well. We welcome your help! Just reach out. We'd be glad to hear from you. One simple thing we are working on right now that you can do at any time is picking up trash and debris around the building. We've already picked up 7 black trash bags full of trash and there are probably another 7 that need to be filled. We'll also be doing some landscaping and painting before the Fall Festival. Thanks for your help and we ask for your continued prayers. That's what's on my mind today. What's on yours? I'd love to hear. Peace, Derek
By Derek Larson • October 24, 2026
This week I am thinking about our Pledge Campaign and the old concept of tithing. I shared a reflection with you earlier this week and today I post it again here. My hope is that this teaching and reflection can serve as a contextual tool as you discern how God is calling to support the common ministry of St. Peter's in 2027. I've included a video and a link to the podcast in case you'd prefer to listen instead of reading since it is a bit long. But here is the summary: I don't believe everyone is called to tithe. But I do believe tithing is an important principle with a long history that has something to teach us. Read on to learn what. That's what I'm thinking about this week. What's on your mind? I'd love to hear. Peace, Derek Have you ever heard the word “tithe”? *Listen to the following reflection in the video above or on our podcast . We’re in the thick of our pledge campaign at St. Peter’s as we haven taken on the challenge to boost our budget in 2027 to make a significant impact in ministries with children and youth. And while we talk a lot about giving and pledging, we don’t spend much time talking about tithing, which can be touchy subject. But what does it even mean? And where does it come from? And is it at all relevant to us today? Tithing is an ancient term that means giving 10% of something to God. Many churches teach that tithing is a Biblical mandate that all Christians are called to give 10% of their income to the church or to the poor. At St. Peter’s we have a much more nuanced approach, but still hold tithing as an important practice within our tradition. But where does it come from? Tithing was an important part of community life in ancient Israel and one of the commandments Moses brought down from Mount Sinai from God. In Leviticus 27:30 all people were required to bring a 10th of the produce of their work to the priests as an offering to God. These gifts were used to support and sustain their common worship in the tabernacle and to care for the needs of the poor. Some was also burnt as an offering to God. In offering God the first fruits of their labor, the people recognized that God was the source of all they had and would continue to bless them if they put God first. Even then though, it was a challenging practice for the people, and many did not fully obey those directives. Later, the prophet Malachi compared withholding tithe with “robbing God”(Malachi 3:8-9). On the other hand in Matthew 23:23 Jesus criticized the Pharisees for overemphasizing the tithe while continuing to call for it’s keeping, ““Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cumin and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is these you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others.” While the ancient laws of Israel were an important part of the Scriptural tradition, the early Gentile Christians did not consider them all to be binding under the gospel of Christ. It was enough for them to follow Christ with the simple love of God and neighbor. And yet this did not mean the early Christians had a relaxed view of giving—indeed it was the opposite! Acts 2:44-45 puts it this way, "All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need.” So while the ancient Israelites were expected to give a tithe, the early Christians gave a whole! As Christianity spread throughout the world, holding all things in common became less and less frequent, but giving for the needs of the community and the support of shared worship was always deeply present, and many Christians still practiced the tithe. In the fourth century St. Augustine of Hippo encouraged Christians to give more than the tithe, noting that the tithe was the bare minimum of the Pharisees and not the standard of Christians. St. Thomas Aquinas of the 13th century continued this line of thinking and argued for that the tithe was a binding minimum standard for Christian giving. What about today? For many churches, giving 10% of one’s household income continues to be the standard practice encouraged for Christians. Indeed, even our own Episcopal Church through resolutions passed by General Convention (by both clergy and laity) affirmed the tithe to be the “minimum standard of giving for Episcopalians” and that all bishops and deputies should work towards it. The resolution was first passed in 1982 and then reaffirmed in 1988, 1991, 1994, 1997, 2000, 2009, and 2018. The Roman Catholic Church has affirmed the importance of giving, but has not held the tithe as a required expectation of Catholics. The United Methodists call tithing, “the minimum goal.” The Church of the Nazarene calls tithing “the minimum financial obligation” and encourage additional “freewill offerings”. Southern Baptists teach the tithe. Seventh Day Adventists teach that the first 10% of all income belongs to God. Other Christian traditions encourage tithing but do not consider it as morally binding. There are quite a range of perspectives! The truth is that there is not one, single, clear directive within Scripture that requires Christians to give 10% of our income. Instead, there is a long legacy of giving sacrificially from the heart to sustain the life of common prayer and care for the needs of others. And God calls us each one of us to give according to our own circumstances, the season of life that we are living in, in accordance with our conscience and discernment. For some that means giving 5%. For others that means giving 15%. The wealthy are often called to give more than the poor. Newer Christians are often called to start by giving less. A single blanket mandate is rarely the answer. The questions as we discern how to give and share that which God has given us are (1) What does the Bible say? (2) What does my tradition say? and(3) What does the Holy Spirit say in the circumstances of my life?. Lessons of the Tithe Whatever the amount of our giving, there are some key principles that we can learn from the practice of tithing. Christian giving is a communal responsibility, not a personal philanthropic donation. Sometimes we think of our personal giving as a kind of philanthropy—a personal donation to a charity that we care about. The IRS recognizes the importance of that kind of donation and gives certain exemptions for it. But when we give to a parish, it is not primarily a donation to an institution—it is taking part in the shared responsibility of the community to offer sustained ministry to the world. The Church does not exist apart from it’s people. It is you and me. Our giving is simply participation in the shared life of the parish. More directly, the bills and financial obligations of St. Peter’s belong to you the people of this community. It is your giving that sustains our common worship, formation, and service to the world. That’s what tithing was for the ancient Israelites. The tithe was the shared support of the religious life of prayer and worship for the whole community and the care for those in need. Tithing is a spiritual posture that puts God first. Tithing is not just giving 10% of one’s income; it is giving the first 10% of one’s income. In other words, before any bills are paid, any vacations are taken, any meals are ordered, as soon as you receive, you give back a portion of it to God. By doing that, you cultivate a spiritual posture that places God first in your life. It makes God the most important thing in your life. It orders all of your priorities and all of your needs around the presence of God. And not only does it prioritize the presence of God in your life, it builds within you a capacity for trust. Often we are hesitant to give because we are afraid we will not have enough. Tithing helps us trust in the God who provides and gives us enough. The God who takes care of us. In Matthew Jesus reminds us, “Don’t worry about what you will eat or drink or wear…your heavenly Father knows what you need. Look at the birds of the air…your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth more than they?” Tithing is a representation, not a substitution, for the whole. All we have comes from God. All of it. And thus when we give a percentage of that which we have to God, it stands not as a portion of what we have, but as a representation and acknowledgement of what we have. And it reminds us that ownership does not exist in the kingdom of God, for all belongs to God and all is freely given by God. Proportional giving connects responsibility to capacity. When we compare ourselves to others, it is easy to think that our giving is quite small or quite large or quite average. But the tradition of tithing places the value of the gift not on it’s comparative amount but on its source. Jesus speaks to this in Luke 21:1-4, “[Jesus] looked up and saw rich people putting their gifts into the treasury; he also saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. He said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them, for all of them have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had to live on.” The amount of our gift is valued on the amount of what we have. And thus two dollars can be worth the same as two-hundred dollars depending on the person who gives it. Proportional giving helps us understand our capacity for giving. It helps us understand where our giving lines up in relation to that which we have, and thus helps us discern the right amount for us. It is not our responsibility to give more than we are able; and it’s not healthy to give less than what we are capable. Proportional giving offers us a target to aim for. Ten percent is the tithe. But 5% or 8% or 2% or 13% can all be ways give intentionally from what we have and not simply according to the value of the dollar. Giving should be challenging, but not crushing. Notice that the legacy of tithing is not 50% of your income. And neither is 2%. It seeks a balance. Ten percent, for most people, is quite challenging. That’s a lot. But for most people, it is not crushing. It is doable. And yet, it is important to recognize that the more wealth one has, the easier 10% becomes. And the less, the harder. And thus for some 10% is crushing. When rent takes up 80 or 90% of your income, giving 10% to the church may just cut off your lights. And some are okay with that, because they know that God will provide for them. But God does not call all of us to extreme poverty. And so for some giving 10% is too much. At the same time, if you have a 6 or 7 figure income and no rent or mortgage, 10% is a walk in the park. And thus perhaps it is too little. The tradition of tithing is meant to be felt. So that it might be a real sacrifice unto God. You, then, might be called to give more. So what should I give? Only you, your family, and God can answer that question. And what you give in 2027 will be different than what you have given in the past and what you will give in the future. All you are called to do, is to give meaningfully unto God for the common life of our parish and the care your neighbor. St. Peter’s is very blessed by the incredible generosity of our people, but we are not incredibly wealthy. We have just enough to pay our bills and support one full time staff person to sustain our ministries. And it is wonderful. But we are entering a season in which God is calling us to collectively to give more. Not for luxury or extra benefits, but to support the ongoing ministry of this growing parish full of children, youth, families, and people of all ages. That is our common responsibility. And only we can know our part in the responsibility. For my family, we are choosing to give at least 10%. We have not always given that amount. In fact, for many years our giving was quite small, and in some years we had little to no income. But the more we give ourselves to the ministry of this parish, and the more we place our trust in the abundance of God, the more we are convinced that our part starts at about $10,000 in 2027, or around 11% of our stipend and housing provided by the parish and other family income. I share that not to compare with anyone else’s gift—our pledge is much smaller than some in the parish, and larger than others. I share simply to offer my testimony as your priest, and to give you a reference point for thinking about your own giving. Tithing is what we feel called to do, but perhaps God has placed another calling on your life. Are you listening? What might that call be?
By Derek Larson • October 17, 2026
Quick Note: We hope you can join us tonight (Saturday, October 17th) at the rectory for our Backyard Open Mic Night gathering! 6:00pm! Pizza will be provided; you bring anything else you like. Now for what I'm thinking about this week: Here it is! A new look to our weekly newsletter. We hope this design is more accessible, engaging, community oriented, and clear in sharing all that's going on in the parish. Thank you so much to our Communications Team who worked hard on this. We highly encourage you to subscribe to our text messages so that you can receive it right on your phone as well! You might notice in the bottom section of the newsletter (called, "All the Rest"), we have three titles: The Table, The Living Room, and the Kitchen. A word about these images. The word parish literally means "to dwell beside". The idea is that a parish is a community of people who share life with one another. Let's take that idea a step further and imagine that St. Peter's is our spiritual family home. Where in the home do people gather? From the earliest centuries of the Church, Christian faith has been lived out in three primary ways. The Benedictines call these three areas Prayer, Study, and Work. A healthy and mature Christian faith includes all three areas. The three areas are also guiding principles in our parish life together. The Table is the place we gather for prayer. We gather each week at the altar for the Eucharist, to share a Divine meal with God and one another. We gather each day for Morning and Evening Prayer, speaking aloud the names of those on our parish prayer list and the needs of the world in the presence of Christ and the holy sacrament. The Table is a metaphor for prayer. The Living Room is the place we gather to grow in our Christian faith. It's where we share stories with one another, get to know each other, and spend time with one another. In Sunday School, Bible Study, and small groups, we gather to learn. At coffee hour, Engage Cafe, and festive dinners we gather to grow closer to one another. And thus the Living Room is a metaphor for fellowship and formation (study). The Kitchen is the place we gather to serve. Where aprons are put on, hands are washed, and sleeves are rolled up as we work together to take care of the community. At St. Peter's we serve both internally (through the work of Ministry Teams, the Vestry, the Choir, the Altar Guild, Lectors, etc.) and externally (through the work of Laundry Love, Friends in the Park, Meals on Wheels baskets, and so much more). The Kitchen is a metaphor for serving (work). To live out our lives as Christians means to live in Christian community in these three areas. In this new weekly newsletter, all of the relevant events, gatherings, and happenings in the parish will be listed in these areas to help us consider how we are engaging in the life of the whole parish. As you walk with others in faith at St. Peter's, I invite you to regularly participate in at least one gathering for prayer, one gathering for formation, and one way to serve. When we participate in the life of the parish in these three areas, not only will we see our parish strengthened, we'll see our relationships flourish and our personal faith lives grow. I hope you like the new design! I can't wait to see some photos that you submit to be featured each week. That's what's on my mind this week. I wonder what's on yours. I'd love to hear. Peace, Derek The Rev. Derek Larson
By Derek Larson • September 8, 2026
This week I am thinking about the treasure trove that is The Book of Common Prayer and other authorized liturgies in the Episcopal tradition. Most of us have no idea just how many wonderful prayers and liturgies there are for all occasions of life. For obvious reasons, the one that is foremost on my mind is on page 439 in The Book of Common Prayer, Thanksgiving for the Birth or Adoption of a Child. This liturgy has quite a history, going back hundreds of years. It has its roots in the Jewish tradition of purification rites for women 40 days after childbirth, but equally emphasizes thanksgiving for the birth of a child. In centuries where mortality rates of women during the birth of a child were very high, it became particularly important to thank God for safety in coming through it. It also was often the first time much of the community would be introduced to the child, who may or may not have been baptized yet, and thus it became a presentation of the child to God and to the community of God.
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